When you discover that your marriage is emotionally and psychologically abusive, it becomes consuming! You read like a madperson. Googling words like narcissism, emotional abuse, gaslighting, grey rock, projection, PTSD, and so on.

You dive into the research like your life depends on it. And in a way, it does. A relationship with a covert narcissist will absolutely put your own health at risk. The unresolved tension inside of you builds massive amounts of inflammation. This leaves you in a constant state of stress and tension, affecting every aspect of your life, and leaving you vulnerable to things that otherwise your immune system could fight off.

You are so desperate for validation that you talk about it all the time, to anyone who will listen.

You feel crazy and want to know that you are not crazy! If you had only studied in school with the same passion you now study, you would have been an amazing student!

I understand this. I have been there too. I understand what they mean when they say, “I got a marriage license and ended up with a degree in psychology!”

But listen to what I say here. Take a break from all of it too! Being absorbed in this 24/7 will drive you insane. Purposefully take some time where you are not talking about, thinking about it, reading about it, and so on.

Go out with a friend and refuse to talk about narcissism, your relationship with a covert narcissist, or anything related. Let yourself simply enjoy the time with your friend. No narcissism, no abuse. For this window of time, none of that exists!!

Read a book that has nothing to do with it. Watch a movie. Go for a walk. But don’t think about narcissism!! Ask yourself, “If I were not thinking about narcissism, what would I be thinking about?” Put it all on the back burner and let it sit there. It will still be there when you go back, but you need a break from it!!