Covert narcissists carry a huge feeling of superiority. Their attitude is, “I’m special, no one understands me, I’m ahead of my time, others can’t keep up.” This includes you. They feel that they are your superior and that you have to be “helped” by them. They feel that they are light years ahead of everyone else and that no one else can possibly keep up.

My ex used to say, “I always figure things out way ahead of everyone else. So I have to feed them little pieces of information until they catch up. If I give them too much, they shut down and get mad at me, because they can’t understand. But I’ve already got all the answers. I spend so much time just waiting on everyone else to catch up.”

Just because they feel this way certainly does not make it true. However, it is very easy for a victim of covert narcissistic abuse to feel inferior to this person. You choose to trust them as your partner, so you trust their knowledge on things. Add to this their repeated communication, both passively and assertively, that they are superior to you. Over time, you will doubt yourself, your own ability to figure things out, to be independent, or to even be right about something.

You have been conditioned to feel this way! Take back your right to trust yourself. You have the ability to figure things out and to think independently. When you doubt yourself, remind yourself that you were taught to feel this way and by whom. This abuser in your life created a perfect environment for you to live in doubt and insecurity. You played that part, but NO MORE!! Throw those thoughts out, and go do what it is you want to do!! Take your life back!