You are allowed to walk this earth peacefully, just like everyone else. You really truly are. However, the covert narcissistic person in your life takes this away from you. They want to keep you subdued and smaller. They want you unnerved by chaos and frustration. This keeps them in charge.
Hear me now - you truly are allowed to walk this earth peacefully. Take your shoes off, go outside, walk in the soft grass barefoot, and repeat after me, “I can walk through life peacefully.”
This epiphany, as wonderful as it is, was impossible to keep within my grasp when I was in the throws of a marriage to a covert narcissist. The very thought was fleeting, like a flickering light bulb, one that isn’t tight enough in its socket. It flickered in and out. Sometimes it was shining so brightly and clearly, while at other times it went completely dark, providing no light at all. It was absolutely clear one day and yet disappeared from me so quickly the next. Over and over, I found myself wrapped up once again in the stress of life.
So I consciously and purposefully kept bringing myself back to this epiphany. It takes conscious effort, and I assure you that it is well worth that effort. Every time it came back, the peace it brought was stronger and clearer. It was amazing, refreshing, and enticing. When I truly connected with it, I felt like life all of a sudden made sense. It was like seeing the sky for the first time through a break in the fog.
This epiphany motivated me to keep pushing forward towards peace. I wanted and still desire to create a life where I can spend my time on positive things, on the things that I choose. That is the way of life that I desire. This very desire drove my every step forward towards freedom, no matter how difficult, one step at a time.