Covert Narcissism 102: The Advanced Curriculum Part 2
Welcome Back, Survivors
After learning the basics of covert narcissism—half-apologies, gaslighting, silent treatment, and baiting—you’ve probably realized that the advanced techniques are far more insidious. These are the behaviors that keep you trapped, confused, and second-guessing yourself.
Understanding them is the first step to reclaiming your clarity and your peace.
Chapter 7: How to Weaponize Forgetfulness
Some covert narcissists master selective memory: they forget important moments that matter to you—birthdays, anniversaries, work achievements—but never fail to remember every flaw or mistake.
They use these memories like weapons in arguments:
“Remember when you embarrassed me in front of my friends… twelve years ago?”
“You always forget the recycling—just like last March, and the March before that.”
The goal is control: erasing what matters to you and amplifying every misstep.
Chapter 8: Control Through Chaos
Inconsistent behavior is another advanced tactic. One day, they may be warm and loving; the next, cold and critical.
This unpredictability keeps you walking on eggshells, apologizing preemptively, and constantly guessing what will happen next.
It’s not love—it’s emotional roulette. And in this game, the house always wins.
Chapter 9: The Eternal Victim
No matter what happens, the covert narcissist positions themselves as the one always wronged.
Lost a job? The world is out to get them.
Got a ticket? The cop was targeting them.
Even when you express your pain, theirs must always come first.
This tactic keeps you confused and shifting your focus away from your own needs, always consoling the “victim” while your feelings are minimized.
Chapter 10: Hijacking Holidays
Special occasions are prime opportunities for manipulation. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays—even vacations—can become battlegrounds:
Forgetting a birthday, then criticizing your disappointment.
Starting a fight on Christmas Eve so the day revolves around apologies rather than celebration.
Creating chaos before family events to leave you unsettled.
Holidays are not about joy—they are about control.
Chapter 11: Rewrite History Like a Pro
Covert narcissists often insist the past aligns with their narrative. They deny, distort, or dismiss your memories:
“That’s not what I said at all.”
“I don’t remember it, so it must not have been important.”
“You’re too sensitive; nobody else would have taken it that way.”
The repetition is designed to make you doubt yourself and question your own reality.
Chapter 12: Keep Them Hooked
Intermittent kindness is used to maintain attachment while preventing security:
Offering affection after long periods of withdrawal.
Planning a perfect evening, then reverting to coldness.
Whispering love just enough to keep you tethered.
This inconsistency creates emotional dependency, similar to the reward systems used in casinos: hope mixed with despair keeps you chasing something that was never fully yours.
Graduation: Reclaiming Your Power
If any of these behaviors sound familiar, you’ve likely experienced them firsthand. Recognizing them is the first step toward freedom.
You have survived:
Gaslighting, deflection, and manipulation
Hijacked holidays and special occasions
Rewritten history and emotional chaos
Now it’s time to reclaim your power. The syllabus of covert narcissism no longer defines you. Peace becomes your curriculum, joy your assignment, and healing your final grade.
You are not a student anymore. You are the graduate.
